I'm sure your biggest question as to why you've been removed from the clan, as well as every other platform we shared, would be "why?" I considered avoiding going into details. I don't want it to appear like some sort of roast session, when that's not at all what I'm trying to do here. I'm going to give you answers for two reasons. First, I know you have anxiety and I don't want you forever wondering about things, and secondly, maybe having some insight on certain topics will help you with future social endeavors. For what it's worth, I have cried and cried for days, as well as many other occasions about the things I'm going to be discussing here. This isn't at all easy for me. Despite what you might think, I do love you and care about you immensely. The arrogance. I realize most men have issues with ego, and you like to think yours aren't as bad, but, yours are pretty bad too. When anybody asks a question, you immediately assume it's directed toward you (when a lot of times it isn't at all) and take over entire discussions where we were attempting to collectively come up with builds or loadouts. The arrogance also comes in with your mind frame in general. Especially with Destiny. Time and time again, you'd very rudely disrespect me in front of entire groups, sometimes even going as far as to call me a liar, because you're too arrogant to see beyond your own ignorance. Without even bothering to gather details first. In probably 99% of those situations, you were ignorant to the whole picture, and were the one who was wrong anyway. Which left me in a position to either correct you, which sometimes became bickering, or, just take it on the chin, and feel humiliated in front of our peers. Unless something happened to you directly for you to see with your own eyes, it simply didn't exist in your reality. I couldn't even call out bugs or glitches to my own clan without you interjecting something to undermine me, negate me, or embarrass me. It was so bad at times, I've been made aware of our teammates DMing you to say things like, "yeah bro, she did nothing wrong." Of all people, you'd think you'd be the last one I'd have any sort of issues like this with. As much as I've made a point to very openly you, back you, promote you, give you praise... The disrespect. For someone of such pedigree, you sure lack class. Especially when it comes to women. If I had a nickel for each time you disrespected me, I could retire off of that alone. You'd disrespect me in front of your friends, in front of my friends, even with exchanges between just the two of us. With your treatment and your direct words. I'll give you a just a few examples. Rudely talking down to me in front of our peers, leaving me on read when I'm going out of my way to be positively kind to you, making inappropriate comments about other females with me present. I could type a novel if I listed each and every instance, but somehow, I think you realize how disrespectful you actually are. The egotistical tendencies. Keeping game related things aside, I've never known somebody as self absorbed as you are. I am pretty familiar with your upbringing and I'm sure at least some of the way you act has to do with such. Even still, you're old enough to be your own person at this point. It's pretty clear that you matter to you more than anybody else matters to you. I'm aware that you've shown me this behavior probably more than you show your irl friends or family, but that's what this is about. How you've been with me, treated me, and what you've shown me. Especially when it comes to wealth. Look at my situation. I could've easily become tainted by the trappings of wealth, but I choose to be true to myself. If you ever hope to have an actual lasting, healthy relationship with anybody, you can't be so self serving and self absorbed. It makes it even worse for you to act that way, all while allowing other people to give and give to you, in various departments. It goes back to the arrogance. For some reason, you seem to think you're entitled to more than others. You're not. You're really not. The mind games. You're pretty clever, but not nearly as clever as you seem to think you are. You're good at doing little bs mind fuck things but leaving just enough room to gaslight after the fact and claim you're oblivious. Not clever enough to manipulate me with that shit, though. It's pretty transparent tbh. I remember the first time we had an exchange about conflict, I allowed you to gaslight me and blame shift. You did attempt those behaviors during other exchanges when we'd have conflict, but I didn't fall for any of it a second time. You'd complain that I wouldn't want to talk about things or express myself, but when I would do anything remotely close to that, you'd reply with bs like "I don't know what to say." Or, "I don't have a reply for that." Lately you've done quite a few of your little back handed insults, to which you will claim to be oblivious and act like I'm "crazy." You don't fool me for a second. Lack of trust. I've never felt safe or secure with you, not on a level like I should've been able to. I know I can trust you with some things and I absolutely have trusted you and said quite a bit to you in confidence. In general, there's a lot of stuff you bullshit about or tell little white lies. Little things. Again, I won't type a novel. Just little white lies, little inconsistencies. These coupled with what I'm going to start addressing next make it pretty difficult to trust a person. Especially when I already have trust issues. You pursuing me. I'm going to be very direct here. The way you went about things was very amateur and immature. A woman of my caliber doesn't need to resort to such. You were 2 hours away from me, like 2 or 3 different times within the first 3 months of this year. You didn't even bother to bring it up to me while you were here. Your second visit, you didn't even mention to me until you were letting me know not to schedule you for master content because you'd be here on vacation. To me, a man, would want to see me for the first time face to face. A man, would want to take my clothes off himself and have his way with me. You didn't make any sort of attempts at anything real. There's no shot I would ever share myself like that with somebody who acts like that. Maybe for you it's not that big of a deal to share yourself, but for me, it is. I'm not just some average Tinder broad who doesn't matter. I know what men think of my body. Visually, and the way it feels. The smell and taste of my pussy, nothing sweeter. Nearly virginally tight, even in appearance. I couldn't ask for a better chest. The size, so firm... but soft. My ass, my hips. Then when you consider the way I treat others, especially my loved ones. The fact that I actually a have hobbies, most of which are hobbies men love as well. I'm established, I'm financially secure. Resorting to dating apps, snap nudes, not my style. I'm just kinda... on a different level. The way you dickride your homies vs. the way I've heard you talk about women and even the enjoyment I've seen from you firsthand when somebody has been agaist me/mean to me, idk man. Maybe it's mommy issues? Or you're jaded over your ex? Whatever it is, until you sort it out, it's going to cause you issues with women for sure. The pain. The treatment. The amount of times you have hurt me. You have no idea. Most of it has been kept from you. I'd mentally make excuses for you, or just beat myself up. You made it pretty awkward and uncomfortable to actually have an exchange about such things, no matter how small they were. I don't get it. I know I've never been perfect and have made mistakes with you as well. I also know that nothing I have ever done has warranted the way you've treated me at times. Even just the snide remarks, so unnecessary. I'm not sure what you get out of it. It's very clear that you're driven by validation. Does it make you feel better or something? I know mean jokes and all that for the sake of jest are incredibly funny, and some of that you've shared privately with me has been favorite memories with you. I'm all about that shit in jest. But to do it to your loved ones? A female especially? Yeah, I don't get it. Some sort of issues you need to work through I guess, idk. What I do know is I'm tired of crying over you. I have gone out of my way time and time again with you to be kind, loving, caring, giving, selfless. You left me on read. Then when you got screwed out of flawless I tried to be supportive, comforting, and encouraging. Each reply, you were dismissive and cold. Like a little baby, pouting. I tried to make light of it, not really knowing how to navigate. Your reply to me trying to be there for you? You left me on read. The ever so classy left on read. It's pretty bad when there were so many times I'd wish you'd at least show me the "surface politeness" you showed to others you didn't like or didn't know. Out of this entire clan, I'm the ONE person who has truly cared for you and about you. I'm also the one person out of our entire group who you've treated badly the most often. And I've tolerated this shit for far too long. For whatever reason, you don't seem to realize that I'm so so far out of your league, both platonically and romantically. I always have been. Yet I've tolerated so many things for so long. I've given you so many chances to be a better person, to treat me better. It's just the same cycle over and over. Gaming. Maybe for you it's no big deal for us to still be around each other, but for me, it's just too painful. Even seeing your post in master scheduling, immediate anxiety. I can't do it anymore. I'm sure to you I'm just some "egirl/discord kitten" that doesn't matter and isn't even a real person. Maybe you'll tell your friends about this and make it out to be different from the truth, and make fun of me, belittle me, laugh at me. Even though I know, you know, everything I've said is truth. Not just "my truth," THE truth. So I'm sure I'll just be the clown here again. That's not what you are to me, though. I fully realize I've said a lot of negative things in this email. None of that negates all of the wonderful things I see in you. You have so many qualities that I absolutely love, and have cherished. This whole thing is killing. It's been killing me. I love you. I've always loved you and I'm always going to love you. I should've cut you out so many times so long ago, but, I couldn't. I wouldn't. I don't want to. I hate this so much. It feels like a piece of me will be missing. You're my Destiny partner. Even with all the shit I've just told you, you're my FAVORITE Destiny partner I've ever had. It's going to be tough playing knowing you're not in my life and won't be around. But I know, it's time. Until/unless you change some things about yourself, I can't go through it anymore. I can't cope with it anymore. I can't keep crying over you. Just so you know, I will be very private and diplomatic about letting our friends know that you won't be in the clan. I will never speak a word of things/people we have privately discussed in the past. I have no interest whatsoever in dragging your name in the mud. I'm just going to say that ways are being parted for personal reasons. That your name will continue to be respected. That anything less won't be tolerated. I would like to ask that you not continue to reach out to our mutuals/clanmates. I'm not naive, and all that will come from that is shit talking, pot stirring, and eventual drama/hurt feelings. Most likely hurt feelings for me. I'm not going to do anything to deserve any of that. So, please, out of respect, keep your distance. You're absolutely amazing with Destiny and literally any game you play. I'm sure you will find a new group/clan with zero issues and any group will be very fortunate to have you. I'm not going to block you, but I will have you removed from everything. I need time to really get over it/you. I'd like to think we will both handle the separation with class and respect. If you wish to communicate with me, so long as it isn't hurtful or toxic, you can use iMessage. I am not necessarily sorry for telling you my true feelings here, but I am deeply deeply fucking sorry for whatever pain or negative emotions come from what I've said. No matter how much you've hurt me, I do not wish to hurt you. I am going to miss you more than words can say. I hope things change for you and with your issues, and I hope one day you're back in my life again. Just in a healthier way. I realize there's a good chance you will be very angry with me over my feelings and the separation. I also realize you seem to struggle with your emotional maturity (not meant as a slight). Please, find it in your heart to really process and reflect upon the things I'm saying. I know I might not ever get to talk to you again. If that ends up being the case, please, hold onto all of the wonderful things I've said to you about about you. Let that build you up. Let that give you the strength you need to work through some of your issues. Please, man up, and find your way back. The door to you being in my life will always be open, with the condition of things with you changing. I love you. Take care of yourself.