Observation log. Entry: 01. Saturday, 14/06 This...

Observation log. Entry: 01.
Saturday, 14/06
This is the log book for the ongoing Longitudinal Participant observation study into Angler syndrome.
In brief, Angler syndrome, named after Dr Tara Angler, is the psychological process by which mature human males who spend time around individual women, tend to adopt mannerisms or behavior traits in keeping with the woman they’re said to ‘orbit’. It is hypothesized that this occurs in order to better pair with their partner, and works through a combination of mirror neuron activation, and observations made by the male. However the testing method introduced the potential of bias, in the form of misidentifying social norms as psychological phenomena, and observing a poor sample selection.
Functionally, it’s the name given to the human phenomena of common male-female partnering dynamics in vertebrates.
For more on this subject, read the Introduction and Background books.
This study involves, in effect, co-habitating a studio apartment with a male university student, who has consented to the experiment (see: Subject brief), and who is monitored at regular intervals according to a specialized series of psychological and observational tests (see: Study Method).
Outside of being acquaintances among postgrad researchers, neither the Subject, nor Observer, have any relationship with the other, and are not expected to form one.
This log books exists to store information or observations that may be relevant to the study, but otherwise fall outside the standard specific testing parameters established in the Study Method.
26/06
Subject has approached me of his own volition during evenings, when we’re co-habiting the same apartment. Typically, this takes the course of chatting about either person’s day, and about the other subjects of research either of us are involved in.
Given our involvement, this study is typically avoided from conversation.
While this could be interpreted as ‘Orbiting’ behavior, I believe it is more likely to be a nervous response. While the Subject was identified to be mentally resilient, confident, independent and physically fit, he is also living in close proximity with a woman whom is over two foot taller than himself, and whom he knows to be studying him.
His testing shows no notable nervous or anxious behaviors, however it is not outside the realm of possibility that he desires conversation with a flatmate.
06/07
Subject suggested attending the National Chocolate day festival together. While the stipulations in the Method section forbid me from suggesting activities that may induce a further deepening of our relationship, they do not forbid the Subject from doing so of his own volition.
I am aware that, as a man, it’s probably much more daunting to go places by oneself, and the desire for security is always reasonable. 
Given these two facts, and that this is a Longitudinal experiment intended to measure daily life, I elected to agree to this course of action.
07/07
Subject and I spent six hours going through stalls, events, and a handful of rides. I had no idea that the festival here was so extensive.
Subject dressed up for the day, and spent very little time away from me, though interested in exploring the grounds.
Subject appeared to treat the day, and our joint venture as something akin to a date. Given the subject nature of this study, to avoid giving positive OR negative entrainment to his perspective, I elected to go along with what I observed to be his perception.
Whilst I am aware that this is a Participant observation study, and as a result my influence in the testing cannot be avoided, I do not want to provide him with obvious personal preferences, when I can avoid it.
21/08
Subject has not been attending fencing.
Typically, this club meets every tuesday and friday at 06:30 PM, and lasts until 08:00 PM. Typically the subject would attend both, and would return ~08:40. 
I noticed this week, that he had been in the apartment before then at both times, and inquired. 
Subject cited a ‘loss of interest’ in the hobby as his reason for not attending, stated he was ‘unsure’ if he’ll attend in future but is “Giving it a break for now”.
I have logged and recorded this event within the standard testing as appropriate, however I feel I need to write more on this event. 
Given his regular commitment to the sport prior to observations, and his initial psychological profile demonstrating him to be highly independent, I believe that this represents a notable change in personality.
23/08.
On inquiring with the fencing club, they have confirmed that Subject has no longer been attending. However their testimony deviates, in that they claim Subject has not been attending for nearly a month.
Either my own observation did not notice this, or Subject has been ‘hiding’ his behavior from me.
I’m entering this here just in case.
27/08.
I have identified a potential complication in the study. The subject, being aware of the ongoing observations, may be altering or falsifying his testimony during standardized assessments in order to present in a way that he believes may be preferable to the established hypothesis.
This is difficult to identify, however it is possible. I do not recall if Subject was ever directly told the established Hypothesis of the experiment. However it is possible he could have assumed the aim was to disprove the work of Dr Angler. Or he may have assumed my personal preference to be to do so, and is acting in a manner which he believes is helpful to that end.
I will correspond with others in the department about the best way to proceed.
28/08
After corresponding, I agreed to continue the experiment, and to probe Subject ‘off-record’ about the fencing club.
I questioned him about club members, dynamics, general practices, if he’d replaced the club with something new, and the discrepancy between his last time of attendance.
He seemed distracted or disinterested about the subject, but gave no indication he was being harassed by any of the members, or that his reasons for departure were in any way falsified.
He did grow defensive when I asked when it was he last attended, stating “Mid July? I don’t remember exactly when.”
Given this defensiveness, I ceased inquiring. But I did remind him that, given this study, it was “vitally important you’re entirely honest with me”.
31/08
Subject has been fractionally less chatty with me during evenings. But I have observed he has replaced Fencing club with Pilates, and early morning running, and has been getting up earlier as a result.
I have logged these changes to daily life practices with the standardized tests.
I worry my inquiring has soured our relationship. I will correspond with others in the department, however the Method indicates that remaining impartial is preferable.
09/09
Other work has kept me late at the University more and more frequently. As a result, Subject has taken to cooking dinner on tuesday, friday and sunday. 
I apologised for my absence and told him he didn’t have to do that. But he insisted, stating “It makes sense” and that he “isn’t as busy right now.”
I have logged this change in the standardized tests as appropriate.
While Subject claims pragmatic reasons, I’m well aware that he’s cooking every night of the week. Given his initial psych screen, the workload of cooking each night, and not only being willing, but providing and insisting upon the idea, I do believe this to be a quantifiable shift in personal behavior.
12/09
I now suspect Subject is giving me deliberately false answers. In the standard tests he consistently claims he “neither likes or dislikes” me, and feels "ambivalent" about our relationship. Yet he’s cooking for me, cleaning for me, we’ve been on dates together. He’s changed his whole routine to do this, and is noticeably more submissive in a verbal exchange.
Yet he always claims he’s entirely neutral about me. Never even any consideration elsewise, and almost irritation when I ask him if he’s sure.
Maybe he’s not lying. Or not aware he’s lying. But with the changes I’ve seen in him, and what they could mean… I’m well aware how simple, even natural, it is to lie on a psych eval to present a desired impression. And hide things you don’t want seen about you. 
It galls me that at this current time I have no way of knowing the truth of it. If he does feel differently than he claims, or he’s hiding some mental state, or simply isn’t aware of his changes. It’s a clear route for further study.
29/09
At Subject’s suggestion, the both of us went to the Pancake festival day fair together, then later caught a movie together. 
Notably, Subject dressed very nicely, though in an uncharacteristically light two-part dress, and remained in physical contact at almost all times. He was distinctly affectionate and physical during the day, and especially so during periods where we found we had some privacy.
While reviewing my notes, it makes sense to appear to be a result of personality shift, I believed it in the moment to be simply a result of the masculine desire for love and affection. We spend a lot of time together, and it’s not inconceivable that Subject desires to live, for a time, according to an image commonly presented to men in books and visual media as preferable.
For the record, my stance on appropriate response to his initiative remained the same, and by all indications he had a good day.
He has continued cooking every evening since last entry. I’ve since gone back to normal business, however he’s consistently in the kitchen whenever I get back to the studio apartment at ~6:10, and is in the process of preparing something.
He does not seem dissatisfied with this arrangement, and despite my offering, continues to cook as by preference.
11/10
I haven’t done my laundry in nearly three weeks now. 
I caught him doing one load a week or two ago, where he said he’d put my stuff through while doing his own. However this is too much time to pass with it being mere coincidence.
I’ll enter this into the standard tests later today as a deviation from normal. 
15/10
Subject is wearing noticeably ‘nicer’ clothing more frequently.
I didn’t notice this change start, as it’s been a slow thing, but he’s regularly well presented and flatteringly dressed around the house, even during mornings.
It’s not a regular thing. Sometimes he’s in more functional clothing, running clothing, or sleepwear. But other times, he’s dressed almost like he was during Chocolate day.
Still, it may be a mistake of my own observation, as he seems to make little of his choice in clothing. I’ll speak to a colleague later about periodically measuring his wardrobe as a new standardized test.
07/11
I’m not sure if I’m going crazy or not. But I think Subject has been going into my room. 
I think these are new bedsheets, and I believe the floor has been vacuumed.
I’ll need to make sure to store my notes and observations on Subject out of sight from now on. 
And all the other things I’d rather my roommate not see!
14/11
There are definitely new, fresh bedsheets on my bed!
He’s even folded and placed some of my clothes back in my clothes drawer for me.
Moreover, it’s made me notice that the entire studio is remarkably clean, though I haven’t cleaned anything for at least a month now.
I’m not sure when he’s doing this. I’ve not even heard the vacuum cleaner going in at least a month either, possibly why it slipped my mind. 
It’s also gotten to a busy period again, as the university is about to break for the holiday period, so my own observations must slow. 
Still, Subject must be busy himself. I don’t know when he’s getting the time to keep the place clean, do BOTH of our laundry, and cook every night.
20/11
I’ve spoken to his supervisor and shared findings. I suspect Subject has been lackluster in meeting University work. Ignoring the requirements of his Postgrad to cook, clean, and maintain the apartment. 
His supervisor was remarkably accommodating, and has agreed to not fail him entirely, due to the study, but place his work on ‘indefinite hiatus’, if he lapses too much. Since male students are rare, and postgrad ones even moreso, she said she wasn’t in any hurry to cancel his study, even if it’s abandoned.
However with the end of the semester, the both of us will be departing to see family, so it becomes a negligible issue anyway, as most postgrads aren’t expected to maintain presence on campus either.
07/02
On returning to the apartment, I was greeted by Subject, whom I suspect had returned some days prior to clean. 
The entire interior was near spotless, and while I unpacked, Subject made Lasagna, which is one of my favourite foods, and seemed notably close.
Normally, he’s in the same room, but tonight he seemed almost at attention to me. I suspect that it may be the return to living together after a three month break that’s making him act like this.
09/02
Subject made me breakfast this morning. 
That’s not entirely out of keeping with observations, though I don’t recall if I’ve specifically stated if he has done so before in this log.
I must note however, that subject has changed his wardrobe. Most notably however, is the new sleepwear he seems to prefer.
Prior to this, he wore typical pajamas. Cotton, with sleeves and pants and buttons. However during my absence, he seems to have developed a preference for, what I think is called a ‘Negligee’? Sort of a draping semi-opaque long singlet and lace-y underwear. I haven’t inspected too overtly yet. 
It’s not quite sexy lingerie, but it’s definitely closer to it than pajamas.
He was wearing this both yesterday, and this morning, while making breakfast, and didn’t seem to comment on it verbally. I’ve noticed that, unlike in some of my earlier entries, he doesn’t make conversation unless I start it first. Perhaps, like me, he’s just getting used to getting back in the rhythm of things.
15/02
When I came home yesterday evening, I found a trail of rose petals going from the door, across the floor, and to my bedroom. Where I found a very ‘warm’ looking Subject, sitting on my bed, in red lingerie, with wine and chocolate, giving me bedroom eyes.
In retrospect, I now realize it was Valentine's day yesterday, which I, like normal, had entirely forgotten about.
Evidently, he hadn’t. And had gone to quite an effort to impress me.
All three things were very nice indeed. However the event did occupy the remainder of our evening, and cause a disruption to the standard testing process. 
20/02
Since the 14th, Subject has been spending more evenings than not in my room. Either I return late and find him there waiting, or he invites himself in at around 9:30 pm, walks over, and slips into bed without comment.
Sometimes he simply turns himself into me and snuggles. Other times he almost seems to wait for, and then receive, confirmation to be a bit more frisky.
Those ‘negligee’ things have to be intended for aesthetics or bedroom fun rather than practical comfort, given how quickly they can lift up in bed.
Still, he continues to wear them, both to bed, and while making me breakfast. And I’m not inclined to suggest he do otherwise.
12/03
I’ve been speaking to my supervisor, and others in my department at University about the viability of continuing this study.
While I believe that we’ve got good evidence to suggest that the hypothesis that Angler syndrome only occurs at the societal level, and not the physiological, is false, I also believe that I’ve not gathered enough evidence. Yet that my interference at this juncture can no longer be avoided.
The new standard testing system should allow for my involvement in the study, and better gather what I believe to be critical information.
Of note, the board of ethics was surprisingly interested in altering the study. They admit that, while this result was not one they desired, since the Subject has ‘imprinted’ on me, it would be potentially more damaging to him to sever ties or attempt impartiality at this stage. In fact, they specifically told me that, had I not altered my method to suit, they would have told me to do so, on the grounds that ignoring Subject’s attentions, or not providing him with expected interaction could cause him distress.
As a result, I’m going to be withholding myself less, impressing my wants and desires more, and seeing how he responds (for further detail, see: Updated Method).
20/03
It’s like living with a personal maidservant. 
Whenever I wake up, he’s ready with my clothes for the day, all neat and folded for me. He even tries to dress or undress me if I let him. 
By the time I’m out of the shower, he’s already up, groomed, and nearly finished making and serving me breakfast.
He’s almost always dressed to look good for me too. Sometimes it’s just bedwear. Other times, sexy lingerie, or even just an apron.
I try to make sure he makes himself something as well, but if I need anything, he’s always there, doing it for me with barely a word. 
He’s not unhealthy. I can certainly tell that. His exercise routine has left him with a trim figure, with curves and definition in all the right places. And, at the ethics board’s advice, I’ve definitely shown him my approval. But it’s almost… weird? I dunno, I’ve never really spoken to anyone about living with a boytoy.
He doesn’t accompany me into the University. 
Somedays, given he’s wearing the same thing when I come back, I don’t think he even leaves the apartment. Just spends the day inside, cleaning, doing laundry, and whatever else he gets up to. His studies are almost certainly being ignored for this. Perhaps I’ll ask him about his study thoughts at some point later.
He does, however, accompany me fairly frequently on weekends. He dresses himself up very flatteringly, and acts halfway between a second set of hands, and arm candy.
Again, it’d be a bit like a 24/7 maidservant, were it not for all the touching, and the things done in private corners or dimly lit places where we’re alone.
08/04
I’ve listened to the ethics committee, and the words of my compatriots, and begun to 
Subject responds neutrally or positively to all forms of verbal harassment, objectification, or sexually derogatory comments.
I actually bought him a slutty maid outfit “for a slutty maid”. He didn’t respond negatively, and has worn the outfit multiple times around the apartment of his own volition.
He responds to physically aggressive or possessive behavior with submission and reciprocation, both in the apartment, and in public.
Needless to say, these are huge deviations from his initial psych profile.
I may try introducing him to a range of fetish content later, to measure his responses. Though I anticipate more of the same neutral acceptance and reciprocation.
24/04
I’ve asked Subject about whether he intends to complete his masters degree or not.
He actually seemed… unsure of the question, but then asked ME if he should complete it.
I admit it wasn’t a question I was ready for, but he told me, after some deliberation, that he felt more confident leaving that to me. That he wasn’t sure, but trusted in me knowing what’s best, over himself.
I told him that I’ll consider it, and get back to him later.
To be honest, I’m not sure that, even if I did tell him to finish the degree, if he’d even have the capacity anymore. Even discounting how he’s practically stuck to my ass all the time these days, he’s… less than what he was.
He’s almost ‘Doll-like’. He’s very cute, but it’s almost like he’s as much doll, as he is human. Literally, an extra set of hands, and nothing going on behind the eyes.
He’s not handicapped or retarded or anything. He can respond during a conversation fine enough, if you talk to him, as well as cook, clean, and recall things. But there’s an empty, glassy look in his gaze when he does make eye contact, and his conversation is so devoid of personal identity or opinion that I don’t bother trying to talk to him unless I have to.
He doesn’t keep up with friends, or his family either. Even his ‘hobbies and interests’ seem about bettering or maintaining himself, all the better to ultimately serve me.
18/05
This will be my final entry in this log. The Study was finally discontinued. There’s no point in further analysis of Subject in regards to the outlined test, as there’s little to no useful data to be gained.
Based on the information gathered, the results appear to disprove the initial hypothesis that ‘Angler syndrome’ is based in socio-societal gender dynamics, and not purely biology. However given the single sample size, and the limited focus of the initial study, I recognize this may not be reliable alone.
I may continue later with further studies with either the current Subject, or someone else. However all the data I’ve gathered has also let me make more strides into understanding the finer points of the phenomena.
(For further details see: results, conclusion and discussion).
Subject will continue living with me as dictated by the Ethics department, and the university will continue paying its support of the apartment as support for me under the circumstances.
Which, in all honesty is good with me. Even without the money, I get a cutie boytoy who cooks for me, cleans up after me, and is into whatever kinky shit I feel in the mood for.
14/06
It’s the anniversary of the start of the study. Instead of the normal evening routine, I took the Subject out to dinner and a movie, and then put an engagement band on him.
I figure, given I’m the one who made him like this, albeit inadvertently, I should take responsibility for him. Protect him, provide for him. Put something on him to show to others he’s off the market.
Besides, he’s pretty cute too. I could do a lot worse I suppose. ‘You don’t marry a man for his personality’, as they say.
I’m planning to visit his mother in a couple months, to see about getting her blessing to sign him over to my care more formally. She seems a nice enough woman on the phone, but naturally somewhat sceptical of me, and my relationship to her son.
I’m hoping to impress her with my seriousness. And I’m not the kind of person who mistreats a man just because he’s a man.
Still, I can’t help but look at the boy, as he potters around in his slutty maid costume, bringing me tea and a sandwich, and struggle to think of him as ‘husband’. Even though, one day, he will.
One day, he may even give me a child, or children. That thought, claiming his seed and swelling up with children, I struggle to visualize almost as much. Though I’m confident he’ll make an excellent Dad.