"Well, well, well... if it isn't %PERSON, the new %RANK. Brace yourselves for their arrival, folks, because their sense of humor is as questionable as their life choices."
"Hold your groans, crew, because %PERSON is here as the ship's %RANK. Let's hope they're better at making us laugh than they are at making good decisions."
"Get ready to be underwhelmed, everyone. %PERSON has joined us as the %RANK, and if their jokes are half as bad as their taste in careers, we're in for a treat."
"Attention, crew: we've got a new %RANK on board, and rumor has it their punchlines are as weak as their resolve to pick a reasonable job. Prepare for disappointment."
"Hide your laughter, because %PERSON has arrived as the ship's %RANK. They may think they're funny, but we're not convinced—much like their ability to navigate the ship."
"Ladies and gentlemen, gather 'round to witness the arrival of %PERSON, our resident %RANK. Their comedy might be cringe-worthy, but at least it distracts us from their incompetence."
"Step aside, everyone, because %PERSON is here as the ship's %RANK. Their jokes are so bad, they make their job choice look like a stroke of genius in comparison."
"Hold onto your dignity, crew, because %PERSON has joined us as our %RANK. Let's hope their comedic skills surpass their knack for picking ill-fated career paths."



"Attention, space inhabitants! We've got a new arrival: %PERSON, the freshly minted %RANK. Let's hope their navigation skills are better than their taste in career choices."
"Hold onto your helmets, everyone, because %PERSON is here as the space station's %RANK. Get ready for their jokes to be as off-course as their trajectory calculations."
"Clear the launch pad, folks! %PERSON has joined us as the %RANK. With luck, their sense of humor is more impressive than their ability to find a decent job."
"Welcome, space travelers, to the debut of %PERSON as the space station's %RANK. Prepare for their humor to be as out-of-orbit as their decision to take this role."
"Attention, cosmic wanderers! %PERSON is now on board as our resident %RANK. Brace yourselves for their punchlines to miss the mark almost as much as their career choice."
"Calling all star seekers! %PERSON has graced us with their presence as the space station's %RANK. Their jokes might be lightyears away from funny, but hey, at least they're trying."
"Step into the airlock, because %PERSON is here as our %RANK. Their comedic prowess might be as absent as their understanding of how to choose a suitable job."
"Attention, space denizens! We've got a new arrival: %PERSON, the latest %RANK recruit. Let's hope their sense of humor is as strong as their ability to handle zero-gravity situations."