(i have almost no screenshots for this section, because its relatively old, and memories are foggy. also no one really wants to give me screenshots, so thats nice.)

it all started in the helpihelping's server, before it all went to flames. i was talking with helpi and toychica (who was a mod), and they were making lots of nsfw jokes (which were stricly against the rules). i dont support that, but it wasnt that bad all things considered. a "toy chica :drooling_face:" here, a "smash or pass" there, nothing crazy. then sparkle started talking about how they were breaking their own moderation, which was ofcourse true. (i unfortunately do not have screenshots, as this is old.)

helpihelping and toychica were defending their behavior, while i was in their side because i thought they were cool people. after that, the situation calmed down a bit after helpi told people to forget about it and stop talking about it.
 
then sparkle kept bringing it up, then more people got involved... it was just a mess. keep in mind my memory is a bit fuzzy, but this is the general idea. things got so chaotic, that eventually helpi had to lock the server. before deleting it, he posted a few statements which arent very important to the drama, and i do not have the screenshots.


keep in mind this was happening around 23pm-1am, and i was very distraught about it. i wasnt a big fan of sparkle to begin with, so it was easy to just paint him as the "villain" in my brain.after that, i went on nightmare foxy's server, and started "venting" about the whole situation (wasnt really venting, more like telling my thoughts about it, and saying how its affecting me). i was typing this about 30 minutes before i had an anxiety attack (i cant remember exactly the timeframe).  it doesnt justify what i did, im just giving context.

then other people (who i cant remember the names of) bringed up sparklerose (known as freddy fazbear at the time), im not sure why, as i dont remember most of the stuff that happened at the time. then i said "i hope freddy dies idgaf he singlehandedly ruined the server". right after that, nightmare foxy told me to calm down and take a breather (i appreciate him for this) which i did. i said i would leave the chat and try to go to sleep, which didnt work obviously. 

next day, i woke up to hundreds of notifications about it, from dms, to discord dms, to random pings, to tweets tagging me, not that many but still a considerable amount. it forced me to do that shitty apology, but i did mean most of it. im sorry for sparkle rose. after the drama, i got to know that sparkle rose was struggling with mental health, and i apparently made that worse. 

i wasnt thinking straight and basically told a depressive person to kill themselves, which is terrible. i meam this genuinely, im sorry. ill be honest, i dont like sparkle rose. its nothing personal or anything, but it DOES NOT justify my actions.